Relationships = Hard Work

As the top of this blog clearly states, I am no expert. That being said, I'm still going to offer up my two cents.

Relationships take hard work. We've all heard this before. But I would like to say that this idea has got a lot of people very confused. Confused and stuck.

So many people stay in toxic relationships because they think by walking away they're failing. By walking away they are giving up without putting in the "work" to make it successful. I have seen some people very close to me stay in "relationships" trying to make things work because they thought that's what they were supposed to do. Work. They ignored the fact that the other person did not share the same dedication and respect towards the success of the relationship.

Thanks to TV and "romantic" comedies, people have this image of what valuable relationships should look like. Relationships worth anything mean fighting; they guarantee breakdowns and meltdowns and lots of tears. We're told that relationships mean having to sacrifice and work hard. It's good to lose your own identity in the other person to become "one". Say goodbye to your hobbies, friends, career, (and in the case of most romantic comedies) your very nicely decorated apartment. We see that sacrificing your own happiness for the success of a "relationship" is not only a step in the right direction, it's the only step.

The reality is this: relationships are like a conversation, both people have to participate otherwise it's just a lecture. There needs to be investment on both sides. The beauty in that is, when both people are truly invested, the "work" is not difficult. It's enjoyable. It fuels you to continue. All good relationships are good because both people are willing to go above and beyond for the other. In the midst of the guaranteed breakdowns and meltdowns and lots of tears, the great people that you "work" to keep in your life will be right there next to you with hugs, pizza and alcohol if need be. When that is the foundation, there are no hurdles to jump over and the work doesn't actually feel like work. When that is the foundation we fall into a beautiful cycle. Relationships allow us to thrive, grow, strengthen and push ourselves. Solid relationships free us to discover our true selves and the selves of others. When that happens we're able to fall deeper in love with ourselves and those we surround ourselves with.  

The End Is Here

As many of you may or may not know, I recently got married. Yes yes it's true, another one bites the dust. Another 20-something to add to your list of friends who has followed suit. I know, I've been on the other side of the newsfeed asking myself "what is going on with the world?! Why is everyone getting married or having a baby?!" Usually what I see people post are the beautiful engagement pictures, the perfect "just married" photos and the happily ever after status update. This post is not about that. This post is dedicated to the months leading up to that, all the paint samples, hot glue sticks, surprise Starbucks treats, and dumpster diving trips. This post is dedicated to everyone that graciously listened to me say "just cancel the whole thing!" after gluing beads onto sticks one by one. This post is an ode to the journey that was planning my wedding.

My humble to-do list. It looks so much more manageable when written down. I ran around the house when I crossed the first thing off the list. Serious victory lap.

I'm not kidding when I say this is a box of my supplies: branches, whiffle balls and fake flowers. I may have gotten a bit too ambitious with all of this.

In case you're wondering, blue bottles are surprisingly hard to find. Thank goodness for Svedka! Also thank goodness for brothers and (now) husband that don't mind recycle bin diving to obtain said bottles. The heart wants what the heart wants, and my heart (God knows why) was set on blue glass bottles.

Those bottles didn't cut themselves!

 

 The magic of whiffle balls, fake flowers and hot glue!

 Some may see cabinet doors, I see window decor. Each of those dots was made by a pencil eraser. One by one.

 Those letters were the birth of a Pintrest find. Of course, it looked much better online but I think they came out looking pretty okay.

"Why am I gluing these beads on these branches? No one is going to care. That's not an exaggeration, literally no one will care."-Me

And yet, I kept gluing.

It all came together, as weddings do. The following photos are the final results of our wedding projects courtesy of Pam Christison, our amazing photographer!

 More doors!

 Each of those blue and gray circles is cut out (by hand) from a paint sample.

Did I mention we made our own bouquets?

When planning a wedding, it's very easy to get caught up in the details. It's easy to get swept away in planning. It's easy to focus on the event rather than the lifetime commitment you're celebrating. That's the part that makes all the craziness worth it and being able to share the final result with those that you love is perfect.