The end is near.

My sister has often asked me what are my three deepest desires?
I can never answer that question. Try as I might. Thinking about it right now I'd say my deepest desires are about my students and my family.

With just about two months left out here, I really wonder what my students will become once I go home. I want so badly for them to be successful. I want for them to be encouraged and supported throughout all that they do. I want for them to know how smart they are and just how much good they have to offer the world. I want them to get their ten hugs a day. I want them to find their passions and be happy. I want them to know that they have value. A ton of it. I want every thing good to come their way and I want them to greet it, welcome it with open arms and an open heart.

I know that can't happen. For anyone. Life isn't nothing but sunshine. Still, that is my desire for them. That the good of their life outweigh the bad and they know how to push through the storm and soak up the sun once it passes.

Secondly my desire is to be near my family. Say what you will about being an adult and being "on your own" but, I need/want my family around. I miss my mom's jokes and the sound of her sewing machine. I miss my dad's dancing and having him around to fix anything (even a broken heart). I miss my brother's hugs, sing alongs with my sister and having my other brother around to pat me on the back and tell me he's proud to have me as his little sister. I miss Nana's hellos in the morning. I want to be able to get in the car and visit my grandparents on the weekend.

I never gave much thought into the idea of "home" and knowing where that was. Now that I've gone away I know that I do have a home and this is not it.

Things my students say

"She has dimples!"

"Why couldn't you be Asian? You'd be so much hotter if you were Asian."

"Naw, she got dem drum drops." Meaning gum drops, referring to my boobs.

"Watch them lips work." When I asked them if they were being inappropriate.

"If it's hot in here, why did you take off your jacket and leave your shirt?"

"Ooo! Wet T-shirt contest. Ms. Julia, why couldn't you get hit?" When co-worker got water thrown on him by another student.

"Yeah. Like strippers and prostitutes because, better to be F***ing than shooting." When asked if they agreed that jobs stop crime.

"I heard my mama sneakin in at 2 o clock in the mornin'. I said, 'mama, if you gon be sneaking in at 2 o clock in the mornin, at least bring me some Taco Bell!'"

"If only all girls could have mouths like a cobra...do you get it?...Have you seen a snake eat?"

"I saw Ms. Julia at the store buying nothing but AA batteries...you know what for."

"ooo I can't wait to graduate...'cause then I can drink and party!...I'm just playin'. I'm finna go to college."

"Your last name is Korean?"

"You're from New Mexico? So you speak Spanish? How long have you like...lived here...like been here?"

"When Chino goes back to China I'm going to have him send me back a girl...they're hotter over there."

"Leave your door unlocked. Ima pick you up at seven."

And my personal favorite...

"Keep my name outcha mouth!"